


Never Have I Ever

by shatteredcrystalwings



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comedy, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, No one's straight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8301773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shatteredcrystalwings/pseuds/shatteredcrystalwings
Summary: The bounds of space were long even when you had wormholes and, beautiful as they were, the stars lost a bit of their splendor when they were all you saw out your window for weeks on end. Training and maintenance only took up so much time, so the seven aboard the castle ship occasionally decided to seek out other forms of entertainment.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You can blame this on my very mature friends, all of whom are in their 20s, who decided to play an immature party game last night. (I won by the way)

“Never have I ever? Pidge, what are you, twelve?” 

“I’m fourteen, thank you very much Lance. And regardless, I’m pretty sure I’m still more mature than you.” 

“What did you-”

“You’re both immature, case closed,” Shiro interjected, shutting them up as they both shot him insulted looks. “But sure, Pidge, that sounds like as good a way to pass the time as any.” 

The bounds of space were long even when you had wormholes and, beautiful as they were, the stars lost a bit of their splendor when they were all you saw out your window for weeks on end. Training and maintenance only took up so much time, so the seven aboard the castle ship occasionally decided to seek out other forms of entertainment. 

“One moment, I don’t believe I’m familiar with this game. How does it work?” Allura asked.

Lance huffed. “You sit in a circle and go around saying something you haven’t done. Everyone starts with ten fingers up and every time something is said that they  _ have _ done, they lower a finger. First one with all fingers down loses, last one wins. It’s a party game for kids who want to see what gross things their friends have done.” Lance shot a look at Pidge who stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Well, it sounds like it could be fun,” Allura said, clapping her hands. “Plus it could make for a good team bonding exercise!”

With some huffs and disagreeing grumbles, all five Paladins along with Allura and Coran sat in a loose circle in the main control room. Clockwise, they sat Allura, Coran, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, and finally Lance, who plopped down beside Allura with a waggle of his eyebrows. 

“So, who wants to start?” Pidge asked once they were all seated. 

“Oh! May I?” Allura looks almost bursting with excitement at the prospect of this new Earth game.

“Sure. Knock yourself out.”

“Okay,” she settled more comfortably into her seat, a gleam in her eye. “Never have I ever been bitten by a yalmor!” The Paladins all looked at her in confusion, but Coran lowered a finger, shame apparent on his face.

“A-anyway,” he said, “it’s my turn next, is it? Let’s see… Never have I ever been able to communicate with the mice.” 

Unsurprisingly, Allura lowered a finger, but so did Pidge, earning curious gazes. “I made a program to try to decipher what they’re saying,” she explained matter of factly. “It’s still a work in progress, but I’ve been able to make out bits and pieces. They’re not very fond of food goo. Shiro, you’re turn.”

“Never have I ever crashed a ship I was piloting,” he said without hesitation and both Lance and Keith scowled at him as they lowered a finger.

“Really, Shiro?” Lance spoke up, annoyance and adoration mixed in his tone. “Never?”

“Never.”

“That is not fair,” Keith interjected. “I only crashed because this numbskull” he pointed at Lance, “goaded me into it.” 

“Still counts.”

“Alright, fine. Never have I ever had a thing for Allura,” Keith spat out, earning a dirty look from Lance as he, Shiro, and Pidge all lowered a finger. Allura blushed slightly, apparently unaware of just how popular she was.

“Alright, my turn,” Pidge smirked. “Never have I ever had a crush on one of the Paladins.”

Hunk bobbed his head from side to side for a moment before lowering a finger and Keith lowered one with a slight blush on his cheeks, but Lance didn’t notice either of them as his gaze immediately fixed on Allura, a stupid grin plastered on his face as he waited for her to lower a finger.

She met his eyes, leaned toward him a bit with a smile on her face, then said flatly, “No.”

Lance huffed before lowering a finger of his own, earning stares all around. “What? I got a lotta love to give!”

“...Okay moving on. Never have I ever…” Hunk deliberated for a second before a malicious smirk spread across his face, “taken it up the ass.”

“Hunk! There are children present!”

“Oh come on, Shiro, I’m not that young.”

“Alright Hunk, that is just mean,” Lance spoke up, and everyone’s attention suddenly shifted to him incredulously. 

“Nah man, what’s mean is that I had to hear it since we shared a dorm and you didn’t have the decency to do it while I was out.”

“No, wait,” Pidge interjected, “the more pressing matter here is that Lance has actually gotten some before?”

“Oh come now, Pidgey, you really think no one’s ever been into  _ this _ ?” Lance made a sweeping gesture of his body and Pidge just wrinkled her nose in disgust. 

Throughout all of this, no one seemed to notice just how red Keith had gone or that Shiro had also lowered a finger.

“Fine! My turn!” Lance almost shouted. “Never have I ever wanted to stick my dick in a rock!”

“Oh come on Lance, I have never thought of Shay that way!”

“Oh really? ‘Cause I don’t remember specifying that I was talking about Shay.”

Hunk scowled but still didn’t lower a finger.

“Jeez, can we ever do anything without Lance turning it into a pissing contest?” Pidge grumbled.

“Nope,” Keith replied, arms crossed as he deadpanned at Lance.

“My turn again!” Allura beamed, choosing to ignore the atmosphere. “Never have I ever formed Voltron!” The smile remained on her face as all five Paladins lowered a finger, shooting her dirty looks. 

“My turn again, then?” Coran twirled his moustache in his fingers. “Never have I ever lost a fight to an Altean wombeast.”

No one lowered a finger.

Shiro looked around to see if anyone was going to comment before moving onto his turn. “Never have I ever been in a cryopod.”

“Is everyone ganging up on me or something?!” Lance spat, lowering his sixth finger.

“Actually, that was aimed at Allura and Coran since both of them only had one finger down. You’re just an added bonus,” Shiro smirked, earning a death glare.

Keith, now up to bat, tilted his head upward in deliberation, not noticing Pidge whispering something to Hunk in the meantime, the two smiling devilishly. 

“Alright,” Keith finally said, “Never have I ever flirted with someone not human.”

“SERIOUSLY, you’re all ganging up on me!” Lance interjected, but Keith just smirked as Allura, Coran, and Hunk also all lowered a finger.

“Well would you look at that,” he said, still smirking. “It looks like we have a six way tie between everyone except you.”

“You fucking-”

“ _ Language _ , Lance.”

“I can swear if I want to Shiro, you’re not my dad!”

Pidge clapped her hands together to silence them, devilish grin still on her face as she wasted no time on her turn. “Never have I ever had a crush on Lance.”

“Pidge!” Lance exclaimed, looking hurt. Hunk nodded, smiling slightly as he lowered a finger, but it was Keith who earned Lance’s attention as he once again turned bright red, putting one down.

For once in his life, Lance was quiet.

“Aaaand my turn,” Hunk grinned. “Never have I ever had a crush on Keith.”

“Oh c’mon Hunk, no one’s gonna…” Keith trailed off as he noticed that Lance was now the one blushing and lowering a finger. 

Both boys were quiet for a while until Hunk finally nudged Lance with his elbow. “Your turn, dude.”

“O-oh, right.” Lance looked down at his fingers, noting that he only had two left. He squared himself, his expression hard as he locked eyes with Keith, pausing a moment before saying “Never have I ever been a fucking furry.”

“What?!” Keith exclaimed as Pidge erupted in a fit of laughter and Shiro just lowered his face into his hand. “I am  _ not  _ a furry, Lance.”

“You keep telling yourself that, buddy.”

“Wait a tick, what’s a furry?” Coran asked, eliciting even more giggles from Pidge.

“It means you find people who look like animals hot,” Lance grinned.

“...Oh.” Coran lowered a finger and both Lance and Hunk joined Pidge in her laughter.

Allura cleared her throat. “Moving on,” she said sternly. “Never have I ever needed glasses.” A few of them blinked at her, surprised at the sudden change back to innocent statements, before Pidge, Hunk, Lance, Shiro, and Coran all lowered a finger. 

Coran’s turn again. “Never have I ever had hair long enough to put up,” he followed Allura’s lead with another simple answer. Keith, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura put a finger down. 

Back to Shiro. “Never have I ever eaten food off the floor.” Coran, Pidge, Hunk, and Keith lowered fingers. Shiro looked at Lance, raising his eyebrows.

“What, you think that-? No way, man! I gotta keep this body flawless and healthy!” 

Shiro just shrugged.

With his turn up to bat, Keith leaned forward slightly, leaning his head on his folded hands with a resolute look in his eye as he locked gazes with the boy across the circle from him. Lance would probably be out soon, he might not get another chance at this. He took a deep breath and said steadily, “Never have I ever wanted to kiss the red Paladin.”

Everyone in the room was suddenly smirking at Lance as he himself practically became the red Paladin with how heavily he was blushing. His last finger twitched and Keith started blushing as well as if he hadn’t realized before just what he had asked. 

With a deep breath, Lance put his last finger down.

* * *

The game didn’t last for much longer after that, and Allura beamed in excitement when she ended up as last player standing. Pidge was quick to suggest they play a follow up round of truth or dare, earning almost synchronized shouts of “no” from Lance and Keith, and they all simply decided to turn in for the night. It was getting late anyway. Hunk and Pidge high fived as they parted ways to their separate bedrooms.

Keith wasted no time in scurrying away to his room, burying himself under his blanket as his mind battled between trying to forget what he had asked Lance and mulling over Lance’s answer. That damn dork with his stupid grin and his bad jokes and his pretty eyes and that soft smile he sometimes wore…

He jumped out of bed. He needed to get his mind off it. Maybe search for some late night food goo or go have a boiling hot shower or throw himself out of an airlock. He pressed the button to open the sliding door to his room only to find a wide eyed Lance standing behind it, hand raised as it he was about to knock.

Keith closed the door.

“HEY!” he heard Lance shout from the other side. 

_ Ignore him, Keith, he’ll go away eventually, _ he told himself.

“Hey mullet-head, stop being an ass and open up!”

_ Ignore himmmm. _

“Keith! C’mon buddy, can’t we just talk?”

_ Nope. _

“Fucking… Dude, I know you can hear me. Look, can we just like, ignore that that stupid game happened?”

Keith took a deep breath and opened the door. “How am I supposed to ignore it.”

Lance stared at him for a second. “Y’know, just, like, pretend it didn’t happen. Forget about it.”

“Look,” Keith pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry for what I said during the game and that was a dumb question to ask. Of course you’d say yes, you’d say yes to anyone. But I can’t just forget it like you can. I get that what I admitted to during that means nothing to you and your inflated ego, people fawn over you all the time or whatever and you would bang anything with two legs, but it’s not like that for me, Lance. I’m not just gonna bend over for you.

“I like you, I think that was made pretty clear in the game and I’m not going to deny that at this point. But I know I’m just another person for you to flirt with and I’d rather you not let me delude myself into thinking I’m anything more than that.”

“Keith…”

“That’s all I have to say, now go away and let me sleep.” He hit the button to close the door again, but Lance grabbed it before it could shut, activating the safety that stopped it from crushing people.

“Keith. Look, I- You’re- I don’t think of you that way.”

“Yeah, I thought I just made it clear that I got that.”

“No- I mean I don’t think of you as just another person to flirt with. I-” he sputtered for a moment, blushing. “I really do like you. Like,  _ like _ you, since you apparently need it spelled out to you like a grade schooler.”

Keith just glowered at him.

“Oh come  _ on _ , man. Can’t you just believe me on this?”

“Oh my god just  _ kiss him _ , you dumbass!” Both boys turned at the sudden interruption just in time to see Pidge being pulled back around a corner, the hand clamped over her mouth looking awfully similar to Hunk’s. Lance stalked around over to stare at the two eavesdroppers, Keith following at his heels a moment later.

“H-hey guys,” Hunk said, hand still covering Pidge’s mouth. “How’s it going?”

“What the fuck are you two doing?”

“Um-” Hunk said dumbly before Pidge managed to free herself from his grasp.

“You two  _ dumbasses _ have been skirting around each other for  _ months _ . You both like each other! Just fucking get together already so the rest of us can stop having to deal with your fucking sexual tension!” 

“We have not!” Lance objected unconvincingly as he flushed, Keith wearing a matching shade of red, staring at his feet as Pidge’s words sunk in. 

“Fuck it, come on Hunk. These two are never gonna resolve anything.” Pidge stormed away, and Hunk quickly followed after shooting a couple guilty finger guns at them. 

The two stared at the retreating forms for a moment before Lance turned around to look at Keith again. “So, um…”

Keith sighed deeply, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling for a second before he ducked it back down. He quickly raised a hand to grab Lance’s chin and gave him a quick chaste kiss before walking back to his room. “Pidge is right, you really are a dumbass,” he said before closing the door once again.

Lance sputtered for a moment, then ran up to the closed door. “Why did you- You can’t just-  _ Keith _ !” Lance shouted. 

“...Get some sleep, Lance.” Keith called through the door, and his smile could be heard in his voice.


End file.
